I mean, Hidalgo?

So, I'm not sure who died and made Viggo Mortensen the go-to bad ass, but when Cronenberg shows me someone's penis, I usually investigate. Cronenberg was of course the director who brought us the first Crash, that is to say the one where they get turned on by car wrecks, not the one where Thandie Newton gets in a car wreck only to be saved by the same cop who had molseted her while, at the same time, her husband is saving Ludacris from a life of crime. I don't recall if we get shown David Spader's penis in that movie, but if you can find someone who would describe David Spader as a bad ass, I'll show you someone who LOVES quiche. Cronenberg's two most recent films are of course, A History of Violence, which of course was sweet, and Eastern Promises which I just finished watching (on a now defunct technological format I might add, there are people who still rent VHS tapes and my HD DVD player is gone the way of Beta? Fuck That. Actually I'm ok with it I was planning on buying a PS3 anyway, and I just got like 10 HD DVDs for like $10 a piece so I guess I'm not really complaining.)

The oldest movie I can remember seeing Viggo in was Carlito's Way, where he turns in a small but convincing roll as a wellchair-bound convict out of jail to get dirt on Carlito. Then of course is his his role as WEAPS, the unsung hero of Crimson Tide, which come to think of it, is in a lot of ways, Enemy of the State but in a submarine (both are Tony Scott's and star Gene Hackman opposite a big budget black actor, other than that it's just a joke.) Then, a few projects later he was in G.I. Jane where I think he was the bad guy, but I couldn't say for sure, I only saw it once and I'm assuming because I don't think there were really any good guys; whatever.

From SEAL to Ranger (you like that?) Mortensen's next big role was Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. Unrelatedly, the Tolkein family is still waiting for their roalty checks, true story. Peter Jackson just got paid for that shit like yesterday.

I guess, doing the Rings caught the attention of Cronenberg because I highly doubt he saw Hidalgo and was like: "Yes! This is exaclty who I'm looking for to realize the Bad Assness missing from these two awesome projects I'm developing."