John Clayton at ESPN's reporting that the Saints are in the final negotiations for a trade that will bring John Vilma to New Orleans. John Vilma is 25 years old, won the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award in '04 and is one of maybe five elite middle linebackers born in the 1980's, that is to say, way better than Mark Simoneaux.
Profootballtalk.com, a notoriously inaccurate rumor mill also suggested that the Saints were on the top of the list to get Asante Samuel's services at corner. Asante Samuel is one of only two people ever to return two pick-sixes in a given year's palyoffs. This morning's reports however say Asante's first stop will be Philly, who are rumored to be trading their shutdown corner, Lito Sheppard.
I on the other hand am hoping the Saints take a chance on Pacman Jones, who before he got suspended for an entire year for an incident involving strippers, money-rain, a now paralyzed bouncer, and Nelly, was widely considered the best young corner (and return man) in the game. Some people might say that New Orleans would be a bad environment for Pacman, whereas I say he'd fit right in.
As happy as I am to hear that the Saints could get Vilma, their most pressing issue is obviously the dust-eating, consistently burnt Jason David. I'm pretty sure I could beat Jason David deep and I haven't ran since that time the cops saw me getting a blowjob from Jason David.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
CP3
This fellow is Chris Paul, aka CP3:
CP3 put up 25pts and dished 15 assists(!) in tonight's Hornets win over the Suns of Phoenix 120-103.
Someone suggested to me today that CP3 was a homosexual (not that there's anyhting wrong with that.) This picture neither supports nor does it detract from that theory.
Chris Paul can have sex with whoever he wants, and I'll keep saying CP3 for MVP.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Say Hello to the Right Arm of the Free World
From Wikipedia:
The Fusil Automatique Léger (Light Automatic Rifle) or FAL is a 7.62x51 NATO self-loading, selective fire rifle produced by the Belgian armaments manufacturer Fabrique Nationale de Herstal (FN) during the Cold War, and adopted by many North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) countries. It has also been adopted by many other nations for their armies as well as being a popular civilian rifle. The FN FAL was also produced under license in many of the adopting countries. Also because of its prevalence and widespread use among the armed forces of many Western and other non-Communist countries during the Cold War, it was nicknamed "the right arm of the Free World".
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I mean, Hidalgo?
So, I'm not sure who died and made Viggo Mortensen the go-to bad ass, but when Cronenberg shows me someone's penis, I usually investigate. Cronenberg was of course the director who brought us the first Crash, that is to say the one where they get turned on by car wrecks, not the one where Thandie Newton gets in a car wreck only to be saved by the same cop who had molseted her while, at the same time, her husband is saving Ludacris from a life of crime. I don't recall if we get shown David Spader's penis in that movie, but if you can find someone who would describe David Spader as a bad ass, I'll show you someone who LOVES quiche. Cronenberg's two most recent films are of course, A History of Violence, which of course was sweet, and Eastern Promises which I just finished watching (on a now defunct technological format I might add, there are people who still rent VHS tapes and my HD DVD player is gone the way of Beta? Fuck That. Actually I'm ok with it I was planning on buying a PS3 anyway, and I just got like 10 HD DVDs for like $10 a piece so I guess I'm not really complaining.)
The oldest movie I can remember seeing Viggo in was Carlito's Way, where he turns in a small but convincing roll as a wellchair-bound convict out of jail to get dirt on Carlito. Then of course is his his role as WEAPS, the unsung hero of Crimson Tide, which come to think of it, is in a lot of ways, Enemy of the State but in a submarine (both are Tony Scott's and star Gene Hackman opposite a big budget black actor, other than that it's just a joke.) Then, a few projects later he was in G.I. Jane where I think he was the bad guy, but I couldn't say for sure, I only saw it once and I'm assuming because I don't think there were really any good guys; whatever.
From SEAL to Ranger (you like that?) Mortensen's next big role was Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. Unrelatedly, the Tolkein family is still waiting for their roalty checks, true story. Peter Jackson just got paid for that shit like yesterday.
I guess, doing the Rings caught the attention of Cronenberg because I highly doubt he saw Hidalgo and was like: "Yes! This is exaclty who I'm looking for to realize the Bad Assness missing from these two awesome projects I'm developing."
The oldest movie I can remember seeing Viggo in was Carlito's Way, where he turns in a small but convincing roll as a wellchair-bound convict out of jail to get dirt on Carlito. Then of course is his his role as WEAPS, the unsung hero of Crimson Tide, which come to think of it, is in a lot of ways, Enemy of the State but in a submarine (both are Tony Scott's and star Gene Hackman opposite a big budget black actor, other than that it's just a joke.) Then, a few projects later he was in G.I. Jane where I think he was the bad guy, but I couldn't say for sure, I only saw it once and I'm assuming because I don't think there were really any good guys; whatever.
From SEAL to Ranger (you like that?) Mortensen's next big role was Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. Unrelatedly, the Tolkein family is still waiting for their roalty checks, true story. Peter Jackson just got paid for that shit like yesterday.
I guess, doing the Rings caught the attention of Cronenberg because I highly doubt he saw Hidalgo and was like: "Yes! This is exaclty who I'm looking for to realize the Bad Assness missing from these two awesome projects I'm developing."
Monday, February 18, 2008
Setting the Record Straight
Some people out there may be wondering if I did a jaegerbomb with Dirk Nowitzki. Other people are questioning whether I even saw Dirk Nowitzki. What follows is the truth in as much detail as I can remember.
Typically when I get out of work on Friday, all I want to do is party. This past Friday I had big dreams of going down to the casino and playing poker on Friday, and hopefully, finding some schmuck in town for the NBA All Star weekend who wanted to give me all his money. Instead however, I received nothing but massive threats as to how long it would take me to get downtown, so I went to Cooter Brown’s to see one of my favorite bartenders, Laurie. Laurie was her usual self, effervescent, effusive, and making drinks that were strong enough to peel paint that still tasted delicious. After one double cocktail I was no longer good at pool, after two I was no longer good at standing. Laurie’s shift ended and she came and shot the shit with us and we had some dinner and a few more (considerably less strong) drinks.
After we had enough of Kevin Durant’s shoes on the big HDs we rolled to my buddy’s house and he showed us his haunted attic. We then went to one of the swankier uptown bars and drank expensive Irish whiskey until after the jazz band stopped playing and it became clear that the waitress I had a crush on wanted nothing to do with me.
We rolled out and met up with some friends at the Kingpin. Now, for those of you who have never been to the Kingpin allow me to describe it for you. The Kingpin is a little dive bar hidden away uptown and not really near any sort of legit streets. It’s the kind of place where a member of the biggest pop band from New Orleans (Better than Ezra) sits next to the biggest drunk in NOLA (yours truly) but is left alone because I’m talking to my friends who are: 2 law students, 1 med student, an English professor and her Architect boyfriend. They also have shuffle board and Ms. Pacman, both of which are more fun than cracking “it’s been good _(verb)_ing with you uh-huh” jokes.
After a while, my ride home was leaving but I was having a little trouble finding my hat. I did a circle of the bar trying to find my hat. I had just given up when who do I see has taken a seat at the end of the bar but Dirk Nowitzki, the reigning NBA MVP. Now, it’s not easy to lose a hat in a bar the size of a Quizno's (it is however impossible to miss a seven-footer) so I’m not 100% sure that this is the way it went down, but I’m pretty sure it went something like this:
Crazy Drunk American: Oh hey Dirk, do you have my hat?
Seven Foot Tall German: Huh?
Crazy Drunk American: (laughing) Nothing man, enjoy yourself. (Walks out the door)
I then called half a dozen people and told them that I’d just done a Jaegerbomb with Dirk Nowitzki.
Hooray!!!
Because this is my blog's 100th post I'm going to make it an extra special one:
Actually, I was going to post this anyway I just noticed that it was #100 when I logged in. I've been watching this on repeat for about 5 minutes.
Actually, I was going to post this anyway I just noticed that it was #100 when I logged in. I've been watching this on repeat for about 5 minutes.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The One Guy I was Looking for Seems to be Something of a Mystery
So the one person I was most interested in wisearchingki is a complete e-ghost:
Ode to McDonogh
By Myrrah Font (December 29, 1898)
Edited by G. Leighton Ciravolo (May 5, 2000)
I.
O wake the trumpet of renown
Far-echoing a hero's name;
O bring the shining laurel crown
That marks the glow of honored fame.
McDonogh, let the trumpet sound,
And with the laurels twine his brow;
Extol him with your voices now;
Praise to him, all praise to him!
II.
He sought not paths where glory shone,
Nor dreamed of fame in southern lore;
Twin cities claim him for their own -
Our Gretna and fair Baltimore.
He gave his wealth to educate;
He lived that end to consummate;
His mem'ry shall perpetuate;
Praise to him, all praise to him!
III.
McDonogh, unto thee we rear
A monument of fairest art,
In mem'ry of thy high career
Enshrined within each grateful heart.
Now ready hands your offerings bring;
Now youthful tongues laudations sing;
Now the heavens with echoes ring
Praise to him, all praise to him!
Apparently, John McDonogh was some rich dude who's only claim to fame was donating a crap load of money and land to build public schools in New Orleans and Baltimore. I do not know where the money came from, but he had tons of it.
Oh and in case you were wondering why I was so interested in this McDonogh fellow, its because McDonogh #35 and John McDonogh High School have two of the best marching bands, although the St Aug's kids probably marched by me at least 8 times over the course of the Mardi Gras season.
Ode to McDonogh
By Myrrah Font (December 29, 1898)
Edited by G. Leighton Ciravolo (May 5, 2000)
I.
O wake the trumpet of renown
Far-echoing a hero's name;
O bring the shining laurel crown
That marks the glow of honored fame.
McDonogh, let the trumpet sound,
And with the laurels twine his brow;
Extol him with your voices now;
Praise to him, all praise to him!
II.
He sought not paths where glory shone,
Nor dreamed of fame in southern lore;
Twin cities claim him for their own -
Our Gretna and fair Baltimore.
He gave his wealth to educate;
He lived that end to consummate;
His mem'ry shall perpetuate;
Praise to him, all praise to him!
III.
McDonogh, unto thee we rear
A monument of fairest art,
In mem'ry of thy high career
Enshrined within each grateful heart.
Now ready hands your offerings bring;
Now youthful tongues laudations sing;
Now the heavens with echoes ring
Praise to him, all praise to him!
Apparently, John McDonogh was some rich dude who's only claim to fame was donating a crap load of money and land to build public schools in New Orleans and Baltimore. I do not know where the money came from, but he had tons of it.
Oh and in case you were wondering why I was so interested in this McDonogh fellow, its because McDonogh #35 and John McDonogh High School have two of the best marching bands, although the St Aug's kids probably marched by me at least 8 times over the course of the Mardi Gras season.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wikipedia is the best
I started out reading an article about how Chavez isn't going to sell any oil to Exxon because he (Venezuela) owes them (Exxon) $12bil. Anyways, it appears that the Chalmette refinery is exempt from this embargo because it is co-owned by Exxon and, that's right, the Venezuelan national oil company (PDVSA.) Anyway in the process of (more like after giving up on) trying to find out what percentage Exxon and PDVSA owned, I started reading Wikipedia's offerings regarding our fair city, and that is why I give you:
Notable New Orleanians (myself excluded, and in no particular order, natch):
A. Baldwin Wood - Tulane Engineering grad., invented the pumps that keep our bowldry from filling.
William Seeman - sailboats something something seamen joke
Emille Lamm - May have invented the "grille"
Andrew Higgins - Invented D-Day beach boat. Ingenious because if someone's shooting at you when the door drops, you HAVE to get out of the boat.
Josef Lascaux - Invented Cotton Candy
James Longstreet - Robert E. Lee's "Go-to" general, told Lee at Gettysburg that Pickett's charge would be unsuccessful, seeking a pardon after the war, Prez. Jackson replied: "There are three persons of the South who can never receive amnesty: Mr. Davis, General Lee, and yourself."
P.G.T. Beauregard - Robert E. Lee's #4-5 General, defeated Union at 1st Battle of Bull Run, got ass handed to him by W.T. Sherman, invented the cable powered part of our streetcar. Memorialized on a horse in Beauregard circle, where Esplanade hits City Park.
Carl Weathers - St. Augs grad, Apollo Creed, also Chubbs in Happy Gilmore
Reese Witherspoon - Sings better the Joaquin
Richard Simmons- "Entertainer" (I refuse to click on his link)
Cheryl Holdridge - Original Mouseketeer
Ellen Degeneres - Born in Metairie, brother is in Cowboy Mouth, has a hotter girlfriend than most guys
John Goodman - Was slated to play Ignatius J. Riley in a scrapped feature film.
Patricia Clarkson - If you havn't heard of Ashecliffe yet, don't worry, you will.
Lee Harvey Oswald - According to a 2003 survey, 7% of Americans polled thought LHO had 0% to do with the assassination of JFK.
Carlos Marcell0 - Sicilian, "Godfather of New Orleans," likely the one who set up LHO and had JFK offed after RFK had had him deported to Guatemala, his fake place of birth, known associate of Jack Ruby
Jules Alciatore - Chef of Antoine's, invented oysters Rockefeller (aka my hero)
Owen Brennan - Founder of Bacchus
Al Copeland - Founder of Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits
Emeril Legasse - Born in Fall River Mass.
John Besh - Born in Meridian Miss.
Paul Prudhomme - Born in Opelousas LA.
Truman Capote- wrote Breakfast at Tiffany's, in Neil Simon's Murder by Death (which is a must see) his character had ten fingers but no pinkies
Elmore Leonard - Out of Sight, Get Shorty, Big Bounce, 3:10 to Yuma
Anne Rice - has also published adult-oriented fiction under the pen name Anne Rampling, and has written explicit sado-masochistic erotica as A.N. Roquelaure
John Kennedy Toole - Tulane grad., killed himself in 1969, received Pulitzer in 1981, posthumously
Tennessee Williams - Born: Thomas Lanier Williams III in Columbus Miss.
Louis Armstrong - Satchmo, pretty much invented Jazz as we know it
Phil Anselmo - Pantera frontman
Sidney Bechet - first saxophonist to improvise, apparently beat Armstrong to the studio by several months, so I guess he invented Jazz as we know it
Birdman AKA Baby- fly in any weather
Terence Blanchard - Jazz Messenger
James Booker - Recorded with/for Fats Domino, B.B. King, Little Richard, Wilson Picket, Aretha Franklin, Jerry Garcia, John Mayall, taught Harry Connick Jr.
Harry Connick Jr - Narrated 2000's My Dog Skip, did that commercial where he drops off the crawfish, Did the entire double platinum soundtrack for When Harry Met Sally
Fats Domino - Cosistent chart topper from 1955-1963 when the british invasion invaded, 25th on Rolling Stone's 100 greatest list, after someone spray painted RIP Fats You Will Be Missed on his house in the Katrina aftermath, he and his family stayed in Baton Rouge with future #1 overall draft pick and Fats's granddaughter's boyfriend JaMarcus Russel
Lee Dorsey - as in everything I do is funky like____, recorded with Allain Tousaint
Dr. John - Jesuit alum, recorded with the Rolling Stones, Carly Simon, James Taylor, and Van Morrison, sings the Popeye's jingle and the theme songs fot the TV shows Blossom and K-Ville.
Master P, Juvenille, B.G. - There's like fifty more
Lil' Wayne - swagger right, check. Game tight. And you gon' R E S P E C T me.
Professor Longhair - widely acknowledged as having invented funk
The Marsalis Family - It says Branford was born in Breaux Bridge but the rest say NOLA. I remember watching some movie with Wynton in elementary school.
Irvin Mayfield - Los Hombres Calientes
The Meters - Art, Aaron, and Cyril Neville, Leo Nocentelli, George Porter Jr., Zigaboo Modeliste, were Allain Toussaint's house band, opened for the Rolling Stones for their 1975 tour of America, last played with all original members at Voodoo fest in 2006, after which Aaron, Leo, and Porter joined the Red Hot Chili Peppers on their stage for an encore that can only be described as EPIC!
Wardell Quezergue - pronounced quezergue, wrote Mr. Big Stuff and Groove Me
Jelly Roll Morton - first jazz composer
The Neville Brothers - mysteriously appeared right when the Meters broke up
Earl Palmer - Fats Domino's drummer, pioneered modern rock drumming
Louis Prima - Just a Gigilo
Allain Toussaint - Producer and songwriter has worked with or written songs performed by: Irma Thomas, Art and Aaron Neville, Lee Dorsey, Otis Redding,The Who,Robert Plant & Allison Krauss, The Meters, Dr John, Wild Tchoupitoulas Mardi Gras Indians, Robert Palmer, Mylon LeFevre, The Band, Boz Scaggs, Patti Labelle (wrote Lady Marmalade), Elvis Costello
Better Than Ezra - it's been good, writing for you uh-huh
Zebra - Who's behind the door = awesome
ClydeAustin "The Glide" Drexler - 1/3 of Phi Slamma Jamma at U. of Houston, 10 time all star
Marshall Faulk - Only NFL-er with 100+ rushing TD's and 30+ recieving (a club that won't take LT too much longer to join) 1994 Off. Rookie of the Year
Michael "Beer Man" Lewis - Set NFL record for total return yards in a season, shook my hand at the Arena Bowl last summer, has huge watch
Archie Manning - Born in Drew Miss. career passer rating 67.1, 125/175 TD/INT
Elisha Manning - #1 Overall draft pick, after huge upset victory in superbowl XLII was quoted as saying "golly, I need a juice box" and "now Nintendo season starts," all jokes aside: "Eli's hobbies include antiquing in the off-season with his mother and fiancée." reference: NYTimes
Peyton Manning - (This is the only time I'm using a reference other than wikipedia for this post, but this is from ESPN's TMQ) After four seasons, Eli Manning is 36-28 as a starter and has a Super Bowl ring; after four seasons, Peyton Manning was 32-32 as a starter and lacked a playoff victory.
Tory James - Had eight picks for the Bengals in 2004, the only year in recent memory that the Bengals even played defense
Kordell Stewart - Born in Marrero, inspiriation for my theory regarding the statistically higher coincidence of homosexuality on the west bank.
Reggie Wayne - Ehret alum (ibid)
Aeneas Williams - was accepted to Dartmouth, instead went to SUNO, didn't play Football until his senior year, tied I-AA record for interceptions, had two picks in Arizona Cardinals only playoff win ever, delivered hit that ended Steve Young's career
all facts are either jokes or are paraphrased/copied outright from the annals of the venerable all knowing Wikipedia
Notable New Orleanians (myself excluded, and in no particular order, natch):
A. Baldwin Wood - Tulane Engineering grad., invented the pumps that keep our bowl
William Seeman - sailboats something something seamen joke
Emille Lamm - May have invented the "grille"
Andrew Higgins - Invented D-Day beach boat. Ingenious because if someone's shooting at you when the door drops, you HAVE to get out of the boat.
Josef Lascaux - Invented Cotton Candy
James Longstreet - Robert E. Lee's "Go-to" general, told Lee at Gettysburg that Pickett's charge would be unsuccessful, seeking a pardon after the war, Prez. Jackson replied: "There are three persons of the South who can never receive amnesty: Mr. Davis, General Lee, and yourself."
P.G.T. Beauregard - Robert E. Lee's #4-5 General, defeated Union at 1st Battle of Bull Run, got ass handed to him by W.T. Sherman, invented the cable powered part of our streetcar. Memorialized on a horse in Beauregard circle, where Esplanade hits City Park.
Carl Weathers - St. Augs grad, Apollo Creed, also Chubbs in Happy Gilmore
Reese Witherspoon - Sings better the Joaquin
Richard Simmons- "Entertainer" (I refuse to click on his link)
Cheryl Holdridge - Original Mouseketeer
Ellen Degeneres - Born in Metairie, brother is in Cowboy Mouth, has a hotter girlfriend than most guys
John Goodman - Was slated to play Ignatius J. Riley in a scrapped feature film.
Patricia Clarkson - If you havn't heard of Ashecliffe yet, don't worry, you will.
Lee Harvey Oswald - According to a 2003 survey, 7% of Americans polled thought LHO had 0% to do with the assassination of JFK.
Carlos Marcell0 - Sicilian, "Godfather of New Orleans," likely the one who set up LHO and had JFK offed after RFK had had him deported to Guatemala, his fake place of birth, known associate of Jack Ruby
Jules Alciatore - Chef of Antoine's, invented oysters Rockefeller (aka my hero)
Owen Brennan - Founder of Bacchus
Al Copeland - Founder of Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits
John Besh - Born in Meridian Miss.
Paul Prudhomme - Born in Opelousas LA.
Truman Capote- wrote Breakfast at Tiffany's, in Neil Simon's Murder by Death (which is a must see) his character had ten fingers but no pinkies
Elmore Leonard - Out of Sight, Get Shorty, Big Bounce, 3:10 to Yuma
Anne Rice - has also published adult-oriented fiction under the pen name Anne Rampling, and has written explicit sado-masochistic erotica as A.N. Roquelaure
John Kennedy Toole - Tulane grad., killed himself in 1969, received Pulitzer in 1981, posthumously
Louis Armstrong - Satchmo, pretty much invented Jazz as we know it
Phil Anselmo - Pantera frontman
Sidney Bechet - first saxophonist to improvise, apparently beat Armstrong to the studio by several months, so I guess he invented Jazz as we know it
Birdman AKA Baby- fly in any weather
Terence Blanchard - Jazz Messenger
James Booker - Recorded with/for Fats Domino, B.B. King, Little Richard, Wilson Picket, Aretha Franklin, Jerry Garcia, John Mayall, taught Harry Connick Jr.
Harry Connick Jr - Narrated 2000's My Dog Skip, did that commercial where he drops off the crawfish, Did the entire double platinum soundtrack for When Harry Met Sally
Fats Domino - Cosistent chart topper from 1955-1963 when the british invasion invaded, 25th on Rolling Stone's 100 greatest list, after someone spray painted RIP Fats You Will Be Missed on his house in the Katrina aftermath, he and his family stayed in Baton Rouge with future #1 overall draft pick and Fats's granddaughter's boyfriend JaMarcus Russel
Lee Dorsey - as in everything I do is funky like____, recorded with Allain Tousaint
Dr. John - Jesuit alum, recorded with the Rolling Stones, Carly Simon, James Taylor, and Van Morrison, sings the Popeye's jingle and the theme songs fot the TV shows Blossom and K-Ville.
Master P, Juvenille, B.G. - There's like fifty more
Lil' Wayne - swagger right, check. Game tight. And you gon' R E S P E C T me.
Professor Longhair - widely acknowledged as having invented funk
The Marsalis Family - It says Branford was born in Breaux Bridge but the rest say NOLA. I remember watching some movie with Wynton in elementary school.
Irvin Mayfield - Los Hombres Calientes
The Meters - Art, Aaron, and Cyril Neville, Leo Nocentelli, George Porter Jr., Zigaboo Modeliste, were Allain Toussaint's house band, opened for the Rolling Stones for their 1975 tour of America, last played with all original members at Voodoo fest in 2006, after which Aaron, Leo, and Porter joined the Red Hot Chili Peppers on their stage for an encore that can only be described as EPIC!
Wardell Quezergue - pronounced quezergue, wrote Mr. Big Stuff and Groove Me
Jelly Roll Morton - first jazz composer
The Neville Brothers - mysteriously appeared right when the Meters broke up
Earl Palmer - Fats Domino's drummer, pioneered modern rock drumming
Louis Prima - Just a Gigilo
Allain Toussaint - Producer and songwriter has worked with or written songs performed by: Irma Thomas, Art and Aaron Neville, Lee Dorsey, Otis Redding,The Who,Robert Plant & Allison Krauss, The Meters, Dr John, Wild Tchoupitoulas Mardi Gras Indians, Robert Palmer, Mylon LeFevre, The Band, Boz Scaggs, Patti Labelle (wrote Lady Marmalade), Elvis Costello
Better Than Ezra - it's been good, writing for you uh-huh
Zebra - Who's behind the door = awesome
Clyde
Marshall Faulk - Only NFL-er with 100+ rushing TD's and 30+ recieving (a club that won't take LT too much longer to join) 1994 Off. Rookie of the Year
Michael "Beer Man" Lewis - Set NFL record for total return yards in a season, shook my hand at the Arena Bowl last summer, has huge watch
Elisha Manning - #1 Overall draft pick, after huge upset victory in superbowl XLII was quoted as saying "golly, I need a juice box" and "now Nintendo season starts," all jokes aside: "Eli's hobbies include antiquing in the off-season with his mother and fiancée." reference: NYTimes
Peyton Manning - (This is the only time I'm using a reference other than wikipedia for this post, but this is from ESPN's TMQ) After four seasons, Eli Manning is 36-28 as a starter and has a Super Bowl ring; after four seasons, Peyton Manning was 32-32 as a starter and lacked a playoff victory.
Tory James - Had eight picks for the Bengals in 2004, the only year in recent memory that the Bengals even played defense
Kordell Stewart - Born in Marrero, inspiriation for my theory regarding the statistically higher coincidence of homosexuality on the west bank.
Reggie Wayne - Ehret alum (ibid)
Aeneas Williams - was accepted to Dartmouth, instead went to SUNO, didn't play Football until his senior year, tied I-AA record for interceptions, had two picks in Arizona Cardinals only playoff win ever, delivered hit that ended Steve Young's career
all facts are either jokes or are paraphrased/copied outright from the annals of the venerable all knowing Wikipedia
It's my blog and I can post what I want to...
You'd do this too if you loved amostporn swimsuits as much as I do.
Allow me to introduce Bar Refaeli, who it turns out is dating Leo DiCaprio... shit. Whatever man, it could be worse, Marissa Miller is married to this abomination.
And this little darling is Irina Sheik, a 22 year old sophmore from Russia:
Allow me to introduce Bar Refaeli, who it turns out is dating Leo DiCaprio... shit. Whatever man, it could be worse, Marissa Miller is married to this abomination.
And this little darling is Irina Sheik, a 22 year old sophmore from Russia:
Its not plagarism if I tell you I didn't write it.
This is a facebook post that a friend of mine wrote, she's way more serious than I oculd ever be, so I thought I'd share:
thoughts from the Mardi Gras visit
watching the snow fall from the sky, blanketing the earth, muffling my world (it needs to be quieted sometimes). how cold and dark it has become, but i remember this from when i was a kid, and i know that come spring, everyone will be reborn and the greyness of winter will feel like nothing more than a bad dream. it does make me more contemplative however, especially after being in the troubled warmth of the south. and yes, i've been dreaming of Mardi Gras and that feeling it fills me with (i think they call it "temporary insanity"), but more than that, i've been dreaming of them. my heart aches (it's a good hurt) when i remember all the times we've had: random thursday, poker night, trips to the bay house, the fly, sunday football, 50 bars in 30 days, cinco de mayo, crawfishing, White Colla Crimes, human bowling, Ms. Mae's, Balcony bar, kickball, date night wendesday, all the birthdays, and the many other good times. i dream of that utopian time after the storm that lay a blanket of hope over all of us; that perfectly chaotic time where nothing but the moment mattered, and we celebrated that we were alive, together, and that our city would not go down without a fight. for those of you who weren't there, there are not enough words in my vocabulary to fully explain that feeling of triumphant unity, that sense of oneness, that was felt throughout the people of New Orleans. we had survived. and we were ready to party like we had been reborn.
alas, reality has set in and the times, they've changed and are a changin' still. the city is still struggling, opportunities are scarce (unless you're in the superhero business, but that takes a different toll that many are not willing to pay), and we've grown restless. that blanket of hope is tattered and worn, full of holes and frayed at the edges (although some of us still wrap it around ourselves). tensions are high and the drama of life lived in a disaster zone will eat away at anyone, given enough time. for the record, out of all of the drama i could have to deal with, i'll pick the drama of New Orleans any day. i chose to leave, and it was the right choice for me at the time, but Mardi Gras (my first return home since i left) made me more convinced than ever that i will return, and the next time around i will be more prepared and able to help those who truly need it. i still have an eternally optimistic hope for the future of the city, and faith in the goodness of people. the times have changed and will never be the same, but in happening they've given me a chance to grow up. i know what i want and i'm willing to put in the time and the work to see if i can make it happen. without the disaster, without the friends during the recovery, i'd probably be living in California, studying to be a marriage counselor. food for thought. keep the faith party people. salud.
D, if you want me to take this down I will.
thoughts from the Mardi Gras visit
watching the snow fall from the sky, blanketing the earth, muffling my world (it needs to be quieted sometimes). how cold and dark it has become, but i remember this from when i was a kid, and i know that come spring, everyone will be reborn and the greyness of winter will feel like nothing more than a bad dream. it does make me more contemplative however, especially after being in the troubled warmth of the south. and yes, i've been dreaming of Mardi Gras and that feeling it fills me with (i think they call it "temporary insanity"), but more than that, i've been dreaming of them. my heart aches (it's a good hurt) when i remember all the times we've had: random thursday, poker night, trips to the bay house, the fly, sunday football, 50 bars in 30 days, cinco de mayo, crawfishing, White Colla Crimes, human bowling, Ms. Mae's, Balcony bar, kickball, date night wendesday, all the birthdays, and the many other good times. i dream of that utopian time after the storm that lay a blanket of hope over all of us; that perfectly chaotic time where nothing but the moment mattered, and we celebrated that we were alive, together, and that our city would not go down without a fight. for those of you who weren't there, there are not enough words in my vocabulary to fully explain that feeling of triumphant unity, that sense of oneness, that was felt throughout the people of New Orleans. we had survived. and we were ready to party like we had been reborn.
alas, reality has set in and the times, they've changed and are a changin' still. the city is still struggling, opportunities are scarce (unless you're in the superhero business, but that takes a different toll that many are not willing to pay), and we've grown restless. that blanket of hope is tattered and worn, full of holes and frayed at the edges (although some of us still wrap it around ourselves). tensions are high and the drama of life lived in a disaster zone will eat away at anyone, given enough time. for the record, out of all of the drama i could have to deal with, i'll pick the drama of New Orleans any day. i chose to leave, and it was the right choice for me at the time, but Mardi Gras (my first return home since i left) made me more convinced than ever that i will return, and the next time around i will be more prepared and able to help those who truly need it. i still have an eternally optimistic hope for the future of the city, and faith in the goodness of people. the times have changed and will never be the same, but in happening they've given me a chance to grow up. i know what i want and i'm willing to put in the time and the work to see if i can make it happen. without the disaster, without the friends during the recovery, i'd probably be living in California, studying to be a marriage counselor. food for thought. keep the faith party people. salud.
D, if you want me to take this down I will.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I promised a post on cartoons...
and I'll write it later but for now, enjoy these classics. I quote all of these and a few others on a pretty regular basis, and usually end up getting stared at. I simply do not understand how it is possible to have grown up post-1950 and not seen these cartoons millions of times.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
That was one god damn hell of a show
So, as predicted I saw a movie that is going to bump into my top 30 movies list. Last night some friends and I, all still recovering from Mardi Gras, went and saw There Will Be Blood. If you haven't seen it yet, I won't spoil it for you except to say that it keeps it's promise, but it's not a particularly violent movie.
And p.s. I also saw 3:10 to Yuma, which is not going to make the list.
And p.s. I also saw 3:10 to Yuma, which is not going to make the list.
in case anyone was wondering...
I managed to piece together that missing Friday night from that previous story. After the parades and a few dead baby jokes, we went to Ms Mae's where I smoothed things over with the management. I then escorted a new friend from the weekend before home who was super drunk but mercifully lived nearby. Upon returning to Maes, I didn't see anyone I knew so I went up to Le Bon Temps and listened to music with some folks I only kind of know until like four in the morning.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Holey Moley
Another Mardi Gras has come and gone, as my boss put it I am no worse for the wear, except for the fact that I put like 30 miles on my legs and 5 years off my liver. Traditionally my response to “How was Mardi Gras” is “No Comment,” but for the sake of those readers unfortunate enough to have missed it (and posterity) I will recount the experience briefly.
Wednesday was a warm up, with two parades, venison sausage, some Jack and waters, and everyone in bed by 11.
Thursday’s parades were cancelled due to a supposed hellacious rainstorm (someone said it rained 3 inches in 20 minutes but I’m skeptical) that was brief but ominous enough to reschedule 2 parades and cancel Thursday’s third. I watched 30 Rock reruns until after the strom had passed, then went to Balcony Bar and met up with some folks I’d met in
Friday was a glorious sunshiney day, that I'd already taken off, so I sat on my porch and got ready for the big game. Friday there were 4 parades, and they kept breaking down and it was probably
Saturday was Endymion, oh Endymion. Saturday was a shitshow that turned into an even bigger shitshow once the clock struck
Sunday was quite a day, parades in the afternoon, superbowl, “superkrewe” Bacchus parade at night. After the afternoon parades, we (I’m too Sexy for this Porch) managed to stir up a batch of rock and roll on my buddies’ porch. At some point we were joined by a professional musician who happens to be one of my band mate’s ESL students who we happened to see play with Russel Batiste a few weeks ago, after Krewe de Vieux. With him in the band, the show went from being drunken fun to an awesome Rock! show pretty quickly. We ended up as the superbowl was starting, which finished up in time for the last 10 or so floats in Bacchus, after which it was time to go home. Basically, the wave of adrenaline I was riding crashed after the I’m too Sexy for this Porch show, and then came back a little, and then crashed even lower after Eli and Tyree’s little wunderplay.
Monday I woke up around
Somewhere around this time
Saturday, February 2, 2008
I think I touched on this briefly last night but...
OMG!!!!!!!!
O. M. G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mardi Fucking Gras.
I've seen people tongiht that I haven't seen in years and even when the going got rough (read: when all of my friends had called it quits so I was rolling dolo for the second night in a row...) the Mardi Gras got going. Besides Jordan, nobody can hang with me?!?!
Enjoy daybreak, it loves you as much as I do.
Friday, February 1, 2008
As long as I'm bitching
From The Usual Suspects:
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist."
From my Dad:
"The greatest trick W. ever pulled was onvincing Americans that gas for under $3 a gallon was cheap."
I can't BELIEVE they're still dying.
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist."
From my Dad:
"The greatest trick W. ever pulled was onvincing Americans that gas for under $3 a gallon was cheap."
I can't BELIEVE they're still dying.
Ich bin ein Berliner
I have two gripes this evening (notice I used the right 2 so I'm obviosly not that bad off.) The first is with my so called "friends" who as soon as a few parades get cancelled decide that tommorow is just another work day... losers... who works on Fridays anyway? And the second is with the new Doorman at Ms. Mae's. A) Who the fuck do you think you are standing on that fucking stool showing off your trite tatoos? Lame! And B) for the record, I've been kicked out of Mae's more times than I can count, but tonight for the very first time, I got kicked out when I was still capable of counting. Seriously, homeboy needs to recognize that being a doorman at Mae's is half a step higher than being a fucking janitor. Douchebag. On my way out, without even a little comotion, I asked; Was it something I did? You're just a little too loud he says. Oh I'm sorry, cocktaster, was I singing the songs that I paid for on the jukebox with the vigor they diserve? Fucking Rear Admiral. You got to be fucking kidding me. See you tomorrow he says; I say (in my head) my asshole looks like this: * and I'm pretty sure you'd love to lick it.
Other than that it was a real good night, Balcony Bar, Rebirth at Howlin Wolf, good friends at Mae's, untill the douchesquad decided that I was monopolizing all the females in the bar with my REO Speedwagon renditions and needed to be tought a lesson. Are you fucking kidding me?Fucking toolbox.
Other than that it was a real good night, Balcony Bar, Rebirth at Howlin Wolf, good friends at Mae's, untill the douchesquad decided that I was monopolizing all the females in the bar with my REO Speedwagon renditions and needed to be tought a lesson. Are you fucking kidding me?Fucking toolbox.
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