So I’m watching ER, which as I think I mentioned before is the only primetime hour long I’ve ever watched (aside from a brief flirtation with 24, but it’s like if you miss one episode, then it’s easy to lose the thread), and also stars Uncle “John Stamos” Jesse (?!?), and on comes this commercial for “the greatest love story ever told.” The preview touts (btw one of the characters just said “tmi”, LOL!) “another great performance by (some fellow I don’t recognize named) Javier Bardem” who it turns out is the guy I don’t recognize from the other preview I’ve seen recently (No Country for Old Men), which is presumably what they’re talking about when they say “another”. (In my own defense I only ever started watching ER with my Mom who is a doc and a fan, but probably has watched half as many episodes as I have.) Anyways, I’m immediately skeptical of this preview, touting a name I don’t recognize, rocking 19th century mise, and talking about being the greatest love story ever told. (Bardem receives second billing on IMDB to the Law & Order Det. who was in Clear and Present Danger) When the preview gets around to the title of the movie, the words pop up as the narrator says each line: Love(predictable) in the (ok…) Time of (cliché) Cholera (jaw drops… … …)
Love in the Time of Cholera really is (I can count the number of books I’ve read more than once on one hand, and it’s on the list) The Greatest Love Story Ever Told. Florentino Ariza is a telegraph operator who (cliché alert) falls in love with a girl, Fermina Daza, socially out of his league. He becomes physically ill he loves her so much. With the help of her nanny he proposes to her and pledges his undying love. She excepts, but when her father (Lorenzo Daza is a great character, lets see who plays him… it’s Leguizamo!!!!!!!) finds out he takes her on a trip through Mexico (I think, I’m not really sure where the main action is set, but I always had it mentally pictured as Venezuela) to help her forget about the childish crush. Without his knowledge however Florentino Ariza manages to maintain contact through the fraternity of telegraph operators(!!!!).
Anyways, she ends up with Dr. Juvenal Urbino, who is basically the town (and this is the first time I’ve ever used this word, so forgive me if I’m misusing) milquetoast, but Ariza never fails in his promise of undying love. Other recognizable faces in the cast are Cotton Weary/Raymond Shaw from Scream 1-19 and the Manchurian Remake, and Hector Elizondo who is a great character actor most notable for his (uncredited but golden globe nominate-able) role as the concierge in Pretty Woman (give me IMDB and Wikipedia, and I could write you a book). The director, Mike Newell, has some quality on his resume, including Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Pushing Tin, Donnie Brasco, Four Weddings and a Funeral. (you see what I did there?)
Not to whine, but the reason I’m excited about this move is that it’s the perfect date movie, and I don’t have one. It’s such a great date movie that asking a girl who wasn’t already your girlfriend to go see this would just be corny. I’m almost ashamed to be this excited about this movie, let’s recap:
- Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality)
- Hector Elizondo (Pretty Woman, Princess Diaries 1 & 2)
- Live Schrieber (Kate & Leopold)
- Leguizamo (Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge)
- Mike Newell (4 W’s & a F, Mona Lisa Smile)
If this movie shows Bardem or Bratt with their shirt off, this movie is going to out chick flick Thelma & Louise. But I’m probably going to go see it. The title quote by the way is from Newell.
Today’s biggest douchebag is, of course, Barry Bonds. Bonds could’ve gotten a free pass for admitting his steroid use if he’d admitted his use and testified against BALCO in their money laundering Grand Jury. Now he’s getting charged with 4 counts of perjury and 1 count of obstruction of justice. I can’t indict him, but if I could it would be with 18 charges of douchebaggery and another 6 of idiocy. More on this tomorrow, I’m going to bed.
(For the record Baz Luhrman is a genius, and both Moulin Rouge and Romeo + Juliet are fucking awesome movies)
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