I would, one day, like to get married. Seriously, why are you laughing?

I went to a wedding on Saturday night, the presiding minister was a Roman Catholic priest, and managed to mention celibacy in the context of a vacation to Cancun witch I thought was nice. His story went something like: he was vacationing in Cancun and he met a couple who tried to set him up with their friend. They were at dinner and the subject of his occupation came up and he told them, and they replied “Oh come on, just because you’re here in Cancun alone, you don’t need to make stuff up.” His point being, that not only does he sacrifice sex, but also companionship, and that companionship, more than sex, is what a good marriage should be about. He then went on to tell a terribly cliché joke listing ways in which a computer is like a wo/men. Priest humor, (not to be confused with priest jokes) you can be sure, has never made anyone blush.

I know that certain words are changed in different versions of the bible, but is there a reason that Catholics don’t say the last part of the Lord’s Prayer (for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever? Does anyone besides me think it’s hilarious that the only two prayers I know (lord’s and serenity) I learned from playing high school football, and going to AA meetings?)

The wedding was for a friend from work, in LaPlace, and according to Mapquest, the church was 40 minutes from my house. I made it in about 35 thanks to fast moving traffic over the spillway, but was still 10 minutes late. From the car I called my Dad:

“Dad, I have an etiquette question”

“Uh… ok.”

“I’m on my way to my buddy’s wedding, it starts in 20 minutes and I’m a half hour away.”

“Keep on going, don’t kill yourself on the drive, be unobtrusive, stand in the back, absolutely, positively, don’t not go.”

This part of the story doesn’t really have a point so much as to point out that I’m way better at estimating how long it’s going to take me to get somewhere than I am at being on time.

As soon as the ceremony was over, I went outside and checked on the LSU-Bama score from my phone (watching the game, by the way, was why I was late in the first place.) They were tied with 3 minutes to play, and Bama had the ball, not looking good. Standing around outside with some coworkers, I checked the score again, and LSU was up a touchdown with a minute to go, “LSU’s gonna win, I wonder how that happened, probably a pick-6” I say. Nothing but raised eyebrows and confused looks, “you know, a pick 6, interception returned for a touchdown…?” (“…?” is how you spell the physical act of confused look and raised eyebrows) I do not understand people that don’t like football. They’re even worse than the (seeming growing number of) people who don’t like baseball. (“It’s sooo boring.” “Eat your peanuts, drink your beer, and shut the fuck up, it’s a full count.”) Even a bad football game is more exciting than a basketball game or a soccer game (too easy and too hard to score resp.) And while I do recognize the brilliance of Tiger Woods I can’t understand watching golf. The only things I can think of that can rival the excitement of football and (important) baseball is high-level tennis, and olympic/playoff hockey. (Cliché alert) But I digress…

The reception was fun (read open bar) and the food was good. I had two pieces of cake. When it was time for the bouquet tossing, only one girl got up catch it, then after some prodding 4 or 5 more joined her. I got tricked into being in front for the girder toss, but it got zoomed right over my head. Let’s just say I didn’t hurt my shoulder reaching for it. More people cranked that soulja boy than did the electric slide.